“I’m Not Quiet Quitting—I'm Loud Living”: Parenting Out Loud in STEM

👩‍🔬👩‍👧‍👦 “I’m not quiet quitting—I’m loud living.”

This line from a recent Business Insider article struck a chord in one of my recent group coaching sessions with Scientist Mothers. We started talking about what it means to “𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱” in academic medicine and science—what’s at stake, what it signals, and how we navigate the tension between visibility and vulnerability.

Because let’s be honest:

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹. It shapes hiring, funding, promotion, and perception. Parenting out loud can feel risky, even dangerous, in a culture that still equates professionalism with detachment and overwork.

But the flip side?

Parenting out loud—being honest and unapologetic about the role that caregiving plays in our lives—is a 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱. A subtle but radical way to say: “This is part of what success can look like, too.”

In our coaching conversation, what emerged was how deeply personal these choices are. Some Scientist Moms are loud about their parenting because they want to model what’s possible. Others keep things quieter—not from shame, but from strategy.

For me, I tend to err on the side of parenting out loud, but I’m strategic about it.

I’m more likely to “live loudly” in seasons of career momentum—when I feel confident in how I’m being perceived. And I pull back a bit during times when I’m not performing at my peak or when I worry that transparency could be misread.

There’s no one right way to show up.

But there is power in noticing how we show up—and why.

So I’m curious:
🔊 Are you “loud living” in your work life right now?
🧠 Do you parent out loud—or parent quietly—and how do you decide?
🌱 And what would it take for all of us to feel safe doing so without penalty?

Let’s keep this conversation going.