Reflections on "Mom Guilt" from the Grand Canyon
During our recent MotherMind Connect session, a topic naturally arose that lives quietly under the surface for so many of us: mom guilt.
I asked, “Where does your mom guilt come from?”
The answers were tender, honest, and deeply familiar.
Some remembered mothers who were always physically present—but never still. Always tidying, cooking, organizing… rarely doing anything purely for themselves.
Others shared the opposite experience: one Scientist Mother described how her mom left the house every week to play squash. She still remembers those evenings with her dad and siblings fondly—and she said she was going to leave the session and go thank her mom for modeling that you’re allowed to have a life outside of your family as a Mother.
We talked about partners who struggle to manage the kids alone (“When are you coming back?”), and how even well-intentioned questions can spike our stress or cut short the tiny slivers of time we carve out for ourselves. We acknowledged how hard this season can be for men too—often more isolated, less emotionally supported, and navigating their own social expectations.
I shared the data point highlighted in Corinne Low’s new book that floored me the first time I heard it: today’s mothers spend twice as much time with their children as our mothers did—while working more demanding jobs.
The expectations rise, but the hours in a day do not.
And that’s the heart of it:
What’s hard is holding the weight of impossible expectations—at home, at work, and inside our own heads.
What’s essential is carving out space for ourselves anyway.
I was reminded of this last week when I took a trip to The Southwest with my best friend to celebrate our 40th birthdays. I missed my daughters deeply AND I knew how important it was to honor this milestone, our friendship, and the life I’m building.
Both can be true. The missing, and the choosing to honor myself.
Taking that time didn’t make me less of a Mother—it made me a more grounded one.
And this is where so many of us get stuck: we forget that caring for ourselves is part of caring for our families.
This was just one small part of our Connect conversation, yet it stayed with me.
If you’re craving a space where these real, nuanced, validating discussions can happen—come join us in The MotherMind Network.
