Design the Life You Actually Want

What's the gap between the life you're living and the one you'd design if anyone asked?

I recently had the honor of leading "Pause, Reflect, Connect: A Wellbeing Workshop for Women Leaders" for the MoMM (Motherhood & Mentorship in Medicine) Project — mentoring the next generation of women in medicine, supported by a UPMC Physician Thrive grant.

We started with vision, and we got specific. What does a life of wellbeing actually look like FOR YOU? What fulfilling work would you be doing? How would you spend the hours outside of it? How much would you sleep? How would you move and nourish your body? Who would you spend your time with, and doing what?

Then we looked at the Delta: the biggest gaps between that vision and our current reality from week to week. That's uncomfortable work, and this group did it honestly. From there we looked for the levers inside of our own sphere of influence, because those are the ones that move.

Next we shifted from thinking to practicing. I delivered my Peer Coaching 101 training, and we coached one another in dyads — which is where the vision stopped being abstract. Nobody left holding a vague intention. Each woman walked out with two or three concrete, feasible action items, said out loud to someone who would remember and help hold us accountable to ourselves.

The room feels different after people have coached each other. It happens every time, and it still gets me.

Thank you to the MoMM Project team, Rowena D. Pingul-Ravano, MD, FAAFP and Noopur Doshi, for the invitation, and to every woman in that room who was willing to look at her own Delta and name one thing she was going to change in service of her own wellbeing. I left with my own list.